Strangers
by JD11
Summary: It all seemed so absurd… Rodney McKay had made her feel feel better and feel more than she had in a long time. And now all she felt was stripped naked and laid bare in a stranger’s hallway. SamRodney The Road Not Taken
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: _This takes place during "The Road Not Taken", right after Sam's botched interview. This could be a sequel to my story "A Wall of Memories" but isn't necessarily. Hope you enjoy!

_Summary:_ It all seemed so absurd… Rodney McKay had made her feel- feel better and feel more- than she had in a long time. And now all she felt was stripped naked and laid bare in a stranger's hallway. **  
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**/-/-**

**Strangers**

"But what people?"

Sam looked over her shoulder to watch as Rodney walked away from her. He pulled his glasses off, letting them clatter against the table.

It sunk her stomach as his words finally sunk in and the futility of her efforts hit her.

"No one heard me, did they?" She slammed the laptop shut and the chair rolled backwards as she stood.

She imagined that he was talking, but she ignored him as she walked aimlessly. She took advantage of the first wall to bang her head against it, just once before letting herself stare at the pale carpet. She stayed still for just a moment before her shoulders twisted and her back hit the wall and she slid down until her knees came up to her chest. She just sat there, focusing on nothing but her heaving breathes, the air rushing through her nostrils, the hot air passing over her lips.

She heard as his footsteps grew closer, as the wall sighed in protest against his back, as his jeans crinkled around his knees. That was the first time she noticed how close he was. The air stopped in her lungs, not daring to make it to her lips as she blinked languidly, eyes turning just enough to catch sight of his shoe.

"You're just like her when you're mad. Hell, you're just like her period. The voice, the face, the eyes…" The warm puffs of air blowing the loose strands of hair and tickling her face was the only clue she had to know that he was looking right at her, his eyes drinking her face her. But then he sighed and the loss of warmth told her he had looked away. "I know, in my head, that you and her are completely different people. You've led different lives. You've seen and experience different things. But I imagine that, when it really comes down to it, you're very similar people. I imagine I know a lot more about you than your Rodney McKay does."

Sam let herself drink in his words, tossing them around in her head for a moment before a smile stretched her lips and a huff of a laugh escaped them. What her Rodney McKay knew about her amounted to very little, most of it imagined. She couldn't even bring herself to ponder how similar she was to the Samantha Carter she had seen in pictures.

She had thought then about turning her head, allowing her eyes to search out his. She thought then that, if she saw the pain filling his eyes as she imagined it was, that she might lift her hand to stroke his face or hair. She even thought then that, maybe, she would even give this sweet version of a man a short kiss, just enough to sooth the grieving side of him. But, before a single thought became an actual command, she tensed.

It was feather soft, almost indistinguishable from the soft caresses of his breath. But it was there. His lips were pressing gently against the clothed skin on her shoulder. And then his nose grazed the side of her clavicle, traversing from cloth to skin. His lips followed the trail, pressing just lightly enough to be felt. And then they rose, letting the warmth of his breath send shivers down her spine.

And the pattern repeated. He let his nose lead the way, scouting out the bare flesh exposed to him; he let his chin drop onto shoulder, holding his head there, holding his breath still as it steadily warmed and cooled and teased the sensitive skin beneath her ear. He seemed to be waiting- for her to pull away, for her to say something, or perhaps for something only he alone would ever know- before his lips made contact again.

She didn't even realize that she was doing it. His nose had gently beckoned her head to tilt just enough to give him better access to just below her ear. And he was right when he said that he knew her far better than she would ever have thought. She bit her lip, holding the air in her lungs to keep from sighing when his lips found her most sensitive spot.

Before she could recover her composure, his fingertips were brushing the hair from her face and his palm was resting against her cheek and suddenly she wasn't sure if it was his gentle urging or her own muscles that turned her head to look at him. She found his eyes, but he wasn't looking at hers. Instead, he was lost in a curious fascination of his thumb as it softly outlined her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed against the feel of his thumb parting her lips.

And then his lips were on hers and he was breathing in her gasp and his fingers that had been so intent on exploring her lips were being tangled through her hair, holding her against him.

And for a while, she was lost in the storm of sensations. Lost in the feel of his lips suckling hers, in his tongue darting out and tasting her, in his fingers lost in her hair, in the heat of his body.

The clarity hit like a lightening bolt shattering the perfect calm of a mid-summer storm. One hand splayed itself over his chest and for moment, again, she was lost in the heat of his body, before she remembered herself. A gentle push was enough to bring him back. She pulled away.

For a moment, it seemed as if Rodney hadn't noticed the loss of contact. Gradually his eyes slid open, coming to rest on hers. That was the first time he let her see it- the pain that came with denial slipping away and grief settling into one's chest.

She wondered at what he was now focusing on, as his eyes turned away. She wondered if maybe he had realized what he had done, realized who she was, and had now regressed into his own thoughts. Or maybe he was simply entranced by his hand once again, watching as his fingers twirled the longer strands of her hair.

But all thoughts ceased when he leaned closer again, his nose grazing the length of her cheek, stopping to nuzzle the tip of her ear. The air caught in her throat as warm air tickled her.

"Please don't say no. Give me this last chance to pretend. Please." His voice was so hoarse, so soft and raw. And then his lips were nudging closer and his hand had stilled and the only thing she could think about was the soft breeze-like sensation of air passing through his lips.

Some part of her mind was telling her to reach up and push him away again. To shake her head and pull away. To softly tell him no. And yet she couldn't- couldn't bring herself to deny him some comfort, some kind of closure. She didn't know why she felt like she owed him that.

He was kissing her again, hard and sloppy and she let him because she knew that he needed it. It surprised her when his other hand came to rest on her thigh and she tensed, but then his fingers began to knead at the flesh, softly caressing the tensing away. She sighed against his lips.

She caught herself, stopping the moan that threatened to escape her when Rodney's lips broke away. She wasn't ready to admit that his touch actually felt good.

She couldn't stop the second moan from escaping her. His lips had found the sensitive spot beneath her ear. He nipped softly, startling her nerves. He kissed it, wet and languid, caressing it. His breath rolled over the area in hot waves, cooling the burning nerves, sending shivers throughout her body.

He seemed so skilled at teasing that area, of manipulating it to the point where pain meets pleasure. And suddenly it scared her just how well this stranger did know her body; how well he knew her greatest weakness. Not even Pete had ever learned to take advantage of that. And, strangely enough, that was a complete turn on.

She couldn't remember whether his hand had begun to roam lower, coming to rest on her hip, before his lips had left hers or after he had begun to ravish her neck. She couldn't remember when both his hands had gripped her hips and guided her closer to him and supported her as she shifted to straddle him. She couldn't remember when both her hands had been splayed across his chest and started roaming over the free expanse of toned muscle hidden by the soft cotton material. She couldn't even remember when one hand had climbed higher, pulling his focus away from her neck and allowing her to capture his lips with her own.

And suddenly she was the one kissing him, the one holding her palm over the stubble on his cheek, the one threading her fingers through his hair, the one tasting and exploring and urging. It was only then that the sudden notion of how absurd the entire thing was hit her. How absurd it was that Rodney McKay had the ability to reduce her to the primitive urge to make her want and feel.

Her hands kneaded his neck before tracing a path down his back. Her hands dipped under his shirt, caressing at the smooth skin. Her hand traced his spine, running up the length of it and then back down. She smirked against him when he bit down on her lip in surprise, his body shivering against her touch. The warmth of skin felt good against her palms as they wandering around his waist, splaying over the toned stomach muscles, running through the soft hairs covering his chest.

She pulled back, catching his eye as her hand played with the lowest button on his shirt.

"You don't have to do this, Sam."

She shook her head, dipped her face forward to catch his lips again. She found his eyes again. "I want to."

And she was almost surprised to find that she meant it. That it wasn't just a pity fuck because she felt guilty about his Sam. God help her, but she actually wanted this compassionate version of Rodney. Wanted him, wanted his gentle caresses to roam her body, wanted his soft lips to pepper her skin, to ravish her. She wanted to feel.

Somewhere between unbuttoning his shirt and his hands pulling her blouse from her body and his lips exploring her left breast as his hand explored her right, Sam was lying flat against the floor with Rodney's full weight above her. She clasped her hands around his head, pulling him to her, kissing him wet and hard as her body arched into his, needing the contact.

His lips were nudging their way to her cheek, then to her jaw, before finding that sweet spot beneath her ear. And this time she just let herself feel, let herself moan into his ear. She could feel lips twisting into a smile even as his lips and tongue continued to work the tender flesh.

And then his lips moved lower, inching down her neck until they came in contact with her clavicle. And for a short time, he let all his attention stay there. And all Sam could do was lay there, with her eyes closed and her hands still playing in his hair. And somehow she managed to drag in breath after breath, slowly, in deep, shallow waves the air filled her lungs and slowly, in short, gasping bursts her lungs expelled its continence.

She wasn't ready for it when his mouth descended on her breast; her body arched suddenly, grinding into him. The air left her at the feeling of friction, of needed contact. The moan vibrated his throat against her chest; his forehead had come to rest on her chest.

And then he was kneeling over her and his hands were dragging slowly over the expanse of her bare flesh- his fingers grazed the edges of erect nipples, scrapped soft flesh just lightly enough to tickle. He wasted no time teasing the material still clinging to her hips. Slackening the zipper, his hands glided over the soft flesh of her hips, along the sides of muscular thighs, and finally came to pull both her shoes from her feet and pants from her legs. And, almost as quickly, his attention had turned away from the discarded material. His hands were attaching the sides of her stomach and she sighed- sighed at the heat that it collected in the pit of her stomach, sighed at the way he seemed to know every weak spot. God, did he know every one of her weak spots.

And then he was on top of her again and his lips had found her neck again and she was arching into him, nails biting into his shoulders. And suddenly she found herself laughing into the awkward tuffs of hair tickling her nose.

"I think you forgot something."

Air puffed against her breasts and she wasn't sure if he wasn't laughing with her or cursing the fact that he had to move away from her once again.

She rolled onto her side, holding her head up with her hand as she chuckled at the way he awkwardly tried to undo his belt and lift his body to remove both his shoes and pants. She reached forward, fingertips running over the edges of his abdomen muscles, stopping to tease the elastic of his boxed. She eyed the bulge, then smirked up at him.

And then he was kneeling before her, completely bare and exposed to her. He just smirked down at her and finally she had seen the signs of the Rodney McKay she knew shinning down at her, smug and arrogant, and absolutely right. Her hand snaked up and over the ridges of his chest, wrapping around his neck and pulling his lips down to meet hers.

When she loosened her grip, he smiled down at her. He edged closer, straddling her again. Rodney kissed her before he slid his body down on her a little, then lifted her hips. His fingers played with the soft curls before his thumb rubbed against her clit, moving in teasing strokes.

She could feel her entire body flushing under the assault. Sam opened her legs further, running her hands over his back, and he slid inside her. Her breath stuttered as he pushed deeper inside her. He looked up at her, holding her eyes as he waited, letting her get used to the feel of him. Her hand reached up to stroke his face and he started to move. It was hard and fast; it felt perfect.

Her breath shuttered again as his fingers found her clit once more, rubbing harder as he slammed faster into her. And he was fucking her just the way she had always wanted to be fucked. She imagined that he knew that- that he knew what she wanted. Exactly how she wanted it.

There hadn't been much talking between them since they had sat down, but now there was nothing. Nothing but the harsh, quick breathes and the slick sounds of sex. She breathed him in as she stroked his hair, letting her lungs fill with the musk and sweat and traces of his soap and she couldn't help but wonder what her Rodney smells like, what her Rodney would feel like naked and pressed against her.

And then her hands moved from his hair to clamp onto the sides of his face and she pulled him closer, kissing him open-mouthed and sloppy, learning the feel of his tongue and the taste of his lips, swallowing in his groans and sighing against his lips.

Her legs curled around his, giving her leverage to meet him thrust for thrust. Her head curled into the floor. He was hitting every spot, moving perfectly within her. She was close- so damn close- and all it took was the glorious feeling of his fingers and one final thrust and her body was exploding into a bone-melting orgasm, starting from the very tips of her toes and fingers, flooding through her body, sparking against her skin.

His lips were on hers, kissing her hard and greedy, swallowing her moans as he pounded into her. Her hands were tangled through his hair and she pulled away just long enough to breathe before he pulled her back under, kissing her through his own shuddering climax.

Only when his hips had stilled did he let the exhaustion close his eyes. She nuzzled her nose into his hair, kissing the sweat off his forehead. Rodney's weight had her pinned to the floor, but she didn't push him off. Her heart was pounding and she could feel his matching the beat of her pounding ribs. Rodney's breath was warm against the same tender spot beneath her ear. And still her body was shuddering in the occasional aftershock.

Eventually, when the cool draft from the open window reached them and their bodies began to cool and feel awkward against the sweat, Rodney rolled off of her. He pulled her to him, nuzzling her hair with his nose. She could feel him drinking her scent in. His hand splayed over her abdomen, gently caressing the muscles, mapping every bump, every mark, every inch of her. His lips found her neck again, gently teasing, gently tasting, burning her reaction to his lips into his memory.

And she remained still, letting him take the time to pretend. The time to remember someone else. She laid her hand over his, stopping his fingers from roaming. He sighed into her neck and she turned out of his grip, reaching up to stroke his face. Her lips pressed just to the side of his nose, kissing away the salty tears forming. He tried to smile at her and she kissed him, soft and sweet.

"Are you okay?" He nodded into her shoulder. "We should…"

"Can we pretend forever?" She tensed until he looked up at her and saw the soft smirk bending his lips up. She ran her hand over his face, tilting his chin up to her. She kissed him, one final time, starting out slow and soft, until Rodney tangled his hand behind her neck and pulled her closer, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth, learning and relearning every crevice, nipping and suckling at her lips, breathing her in.

The back of his hand stroked the length of her jaw, his eyes drank hers in. And then he pulled away, completely, sitting up and turning over his shoulder to look at her. She had to smirk at the way his body seemed to flush, suddenly embarrassed to be naked in front of her.

"I'm going to go wash up. There's a guest bathroom down the hall on the right."

"Thanks."

And just as cold and just awkwardly, he stood, picked up his scattered clothes, and ducked into a door off on the left.

Sam just sighed, laying flat against the floor for a moment. And once again, for the first time since the whole thing had began, it all seemed so absurd. Rodney McKay had turned her on, seduced her, and made her feel- feel better and feel more- than she had in a long time. And now all she felt was stripped naked and laid bare in a stranger's hallway.

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Hope you enjoyed! Please drop a review and let me know what you thought.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: _Hey again! I'm working on another chapter but I thought that I'd give you this short snip-bit to connect the two. Hope you enjoy it!

_Timeline: _Takes place sometime after "Reunion".

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She was certain that she would never get used to the view. At the mountain, if she needed some air, she could step outside to the site of soldiers with guns pacing, armored vehicles driving through, and a fence that kept her just out of reach with nature. And now, she could simply look out her window or step outside and there was nothing but the deep expanse of ocean and gorgeous rises of shining blue towers.

"Like the view?"

She turned, a slight smile forming as she watched Rodney stepped onto the balcony. "Hey. It's gorgeous." He nodded just as she turned her sight back to the water below them.

She could see his hands gripping the rail near her out of the corner of her eye. She sucked in a breath, letting the silence control the conversation for a while. "Did you read that mission report about when I was accidentally pulled into an alternate reality?"

"From a couple of months ago? Yeah. Interesting read. Glad to hear that even my counterpart was able to create an interdemensional bridge."

Sam couldn't hold back her sigh, shaking her head. Rodney in any universe was still Rodney McKay- he never seemed to change. "Yeah, well… I left a few things out of that report."

His lips twitched and his brows rose. "Like what?"

She twisted against the rail, leaning her hip against it so she could look at him as she talked. "Like the fact that we were divorced- they were divorced. That Sam and Rodney."

"Divorced? As in once married?" She smirked at him, brows raising as she nodded. She noticed the confusion that contorted his face first as he took in the information. It soon transformed into interest as she was sure that he had begun to wonder at the relationship, just as she had. But he turned away from her, making it harder to see the rest of the emotions. She imagined jealousy was playing across his eyes and disgust was forcing his face to cringe against some unbearable thought. "Hmm… That must have been… interesting."

"Quite," she sighed. She couldn't look at him. She pushed herself off against the railing, turning so that she was facing the ocean again. Her hands gripped at the railing, twisting around in through.

Rodney's sigh caught her ear. She looked over her shoulder at him, studying him. She was looking at the same face that had laid over her, the same awkward tuffs of hair that she had run her hands through, the same gentle eyes that had so softly regarded her before. She couldn't help but wonder at the reversal. Last time, he had been the one who had known her, who had intimate details of her stored in his memory. And now the universe had seen fit to reverse the entire situation on her. She couldn't claim to know every intimate detail about Rodney, to know how his mind worked or what his childhood was, but she knew far more about him than he could ever claim to know about her.

"Is there some reason you brought that up now?"

For a minute, she couldn't look at him, she was so wrapped up the memories and the irony that it took her a while to admit, "I was just thinking about it." Her brows wrinkled at her own choice of words and she couldn't help but look up at him. His lips were curling faintly in an absent curiosity. "I just mean… well what you said earlier, in my quarters about "our past"-" she made air quotes around her words, smiling at him as she did. He snorted at her comment; she smiled at the way his cheeks blushed in embarrassment. "It just brought that back is all."

"Oh… You count our alternate lives as a past?" She bites her lip, her eyes lost in the clear blue below. She can feel his eyes burning against her exposed skin. "What?"

"Nothing." She looked over at him. "I should probably get going."

His eyes narrowed, taking her in. "There's something else going on, isn't there? Something you're embarrassed to talk about maybe?"

She couldn't help but look him in the eye as well. Despite the twinkling humour covering the awkward concern, they were the same eyes that had watched her, hungrily taking her in. She had to swallow down the heat rising in her chest. She blinked away the memory. "It's nothing."

"Oh, come on. What is it? You know you want to tell me or you wouldn't have brought it up."

Sam huffed at him, slowly titling her head to the right. Her eyes turned away to catch sight of the water flowing far below her before she looked back up at him. Her eyes found his, confused and curious, and she found herself compelled towards them. She took a step forward.

When her hand reached up, grazing the edges of his tuffs of hair, she almost let herself be surprised by her actions. But she really wasn't. It had been months since she had met the other Rodney, and yet she still thought about it, she still wondered how similar they were to each other. And now her fingers were combing through his hair and her palm was coming to rest on his cheek. It felt the same- smooth skin, protruding cheek bone, slight stubble. She watched her hand as it drank in the old sensation, watched her thumb as it rolled over his pursed lips. Just the feel of the slight moisture had her thinking about leaning in closer.

She did however surprise herself when her lips met his. And suddenly it was like she was back there, stuck in a strange world and surround by complete strangers. But there was one familiar thing about that moment- the shape of his lips against hers as she sucked onto his bottom lip, the taste of him as her tongue gently peeked out to taste him.

And then common sense forced Sam to part their lips and drop her hand. She moved away, just enough to see his eyes. Somewhere in there, beneath the confusion and the smugness, she could see what she imagined that the other Rodney had seen in her eyes just before he turned away from her. She saw the tiny differences, the subtle hints that this was another person and that all pretending was over. Her eyes fell from his face and she turned, finding herself looking over the water.

"Sam?"

It was the same voice.

Sam just turned away from him and walked away.

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I know it's short. Sorry about that but, hopefully, the next chapter will be written soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: This takes places shortly after the last chapter. Enjoy!

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She sighed at the sound of her door chime, but she rose. The door slid open at her touch.

Her spine straightened, her chin rose, and her eyes immediately dropped, only to find his lips. She forced in her next breath and held her position that was just too close. She looked up to find his eyes. "Rodney?"

"Hey."

He just stood there, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His eyes dropped from her face, then carefully rose to find them again before embarrassment made them fall again. The silence smoked around them, thinning the air. It made Rodney's voice soft and stuttered when he finally asked, "Um, can I come in?"

"Uh… Yeah, sure."

It took Sam a moment to realize that she needed to step back and move away before Rodney would be able to enter. She stepped awkward to the side and Rodney scooted past her. The door slid closed and yet she still stood near it, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched Rodney move farther into her quarters.

"I, um… I'm sorry about earlier. I- that-" Sam sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to catch up with her thoughts. "I was out of line. I don't know what I was thinking when I did that. I'm sorry."

Rodney nodded slowly, turning to look at her. "It's… fine. I… There's something you're not telling me."

She couldn't tear her eyes away from his. Away from the deep expanse of his grey orbs, away from the concern and the confusion. And all she wanted to do was to walk over to him, place both hands on either side of his face, and kiss him hard on the lips for all that she was worth. But she was stuck there, unable to move closer, and unable to run away from him. Instead she stood there, sucking in air and considering what to tell him.

"Come on, Sam, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

His words broke her out of her thoughts. Her eyes blinked, her attention shifted back from her thoughts to his face. Her arms never uncrossed as she took a few teetering steps forward.

"Honestly?"

"That's usually the preferred way to answer a question."

She looked away from him as her lungs filled with air, waiting for the courage to find her before she looked back to him. "In that alternate reality… I… slept with… the other Rodney." She stopped there. Words had suddenly failed her and the sight of his jaw slackening and his eyes widening made the entire story fade away.

And finally reality sunk in and his eyes had squeezed closed and he was shaking his head and his lips were contorted into an awkward smirk. "Wait, what?"

"It just kind of happened." She took a step closer. "His Sam was dead and it was like it had suddenly just hit him and I was upset about the whole situation and so I just… let it all happen." Finally she sucked in a deep breath. "I don't know…" Her eyes had found a spot on the far wall.

"And?"

She looked at him. "And what?"

"And… I don't know. What did you think? Why did you kiss me? What… I don't know."

She smirked at his questions; she shook her head at him. Then she caught his eye, smirking wider, "You're much better than I would have thought."

Her words made his back straighten and his arms cross over his chest. He bounced on his heels for a moment before the moment deflated and he looked at her. "You're lying, aren't you?"

And she nearly laughed at his word choice. "I'm actually not, Rodney."

"Hmm…"

She stepped just a little closer. "Honestly, I saw a side of you that I had never seen before. You can be very sweet when you want to be." She shook her head, "I can't believe I'm about to say this but I… I actually liked that side of you. And ever since I got back, I haven't been able to stop wondering…" She looked at him, "Just how close the two of you are." She closed the last of the real distance between them, leaving a mere two feet. "You look exactly the same. You sound the same… You even taste the same. I don't really know what happened earlier but… I just… needed to know."

His face changed, but she could see that he was trying to hid it. His arms readjusted and his weight shifted and he seemed to be trying to ignore the awkwardness that was surrounding the entire conversation. "Did you get your answer?"

"Rodney, I can't honestly say that I even know what my question was."

"You want to know if there's a soul buried somewhere underneath my rough exterior?"

She chuckled at him. "I know there is."

His eyes skimmed over her body and he seemed to notice for the first time how close she was. His eyes trailed up her body and came finally to rest upon her lips. She noticed then how deeply he was considering closing the gap between them. She considered his lips as well, how inviting they looked, damp and pursed.

She couldn't remember who had made the first move, bringing their bodies closer, capturing the others lips with theirs. Rodney's hand was tangled in her hair and he was pulling her closer to him, kissing her hard. He was sucking at her lower lip, his teeth catching it, adding to the sensation. His tongue darted out, tasting her, asking permission. She opened her mouth to him, letting his tongue push in to run over her teeth, over her lips, over her tongue. And she, just as eagerly, tasted him, revealing in the far from forgotten sensation. And her own hands were holding his face and her fingers were raked through his hair and she was pulling him impossibly closer.

And suddenly all she wanted was to be in that moment again. That moment in which she felt like she had never felt before. Felt good, felt wanted, felt needed. Felt loved. She wanted that again.

And that was her rationalization for pulling down on the zipper of his uniform and for sliding her hands beneath his jacket and over the t-shirt beneath. His stomach clenched at the feel of her hands over it and his lips broke away from hers, air fighting its way into his lungs. His brows frowned down at her and his eyes showed the question that his tongue couldn't quite yet form. Sam just shook her head and drew one hand back up to his neck, pulling his lips back to hers.

She kept kissing him, hard and needy, hoping to keep him from thinking. Hoping to keep herself from thinking. She acted simply on impulse when her hands pulling on his jacket, yanking him closer before tearing the sleeves from his arms, letting it drop to the ground. And then her hands were pulling at the bottom of his shirt, yanking it from his pants. His stomach muscles twitched at the feel of her warm palms against them, but she kept her hands there, letting him get used to the feeling before she ran her hands over him, taking in the new sensations of a flat stomach, lined with healthy ridges of muscle and fat.

Breathlessly, he pulled away and raised his arms, giving her the chance to pull his t-shirt over his head and discard the material. He stepped back into her, pressing his bare chest against her clothed one. Both hands were on her cheeks, forcing her lips to his.

Somehow she managed to squeeze her hands between their bodies. Her nails scrapped over his chest; her palms pushed against him, forcing him to step backwards. They stumbled over each other; the back of Rodney's knees collapsed against the pressure of the couch. Rodney chuckled against her lips as he fell. He held her hips tighter, pulling her down on top of him. He was smirking up at her, bemused, reality had yet to completely hit. She set her hands on his shoulders, kneading them for a moment before her hands trailed lower.

Her movements slowed, her palms pulled away from his skin, leaving just her fingertips trailing down over his abs. And suddenly all she could do to control her thoughts was to lean closer to him, closing her eyes and resting her forehead in the crook of his neck. "What am I doing?"

Rodney's hands snaked around her hips and slid up her back. "I don't know, but I like it."

She laughed softly at the combination of words and tone that was Rodney's alone. Her forehead nodded into his shoulder before she lifted her head and found his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what's gotten into me. Maybe you should just-" His fingers brushed over her lips before she could finish her thought. He leaned forward, brushing his nose against her temple, calming her, coaxing her into breathing in his scent.

She kissed his fingers just to make him focus on her lips again. One hand reached up and snaked behind his neck. The pressure pulling him closer compelled his hand to move away from her lips and cup her cheek. She kissed him once lightly, just to let him know that somehow, at some unknown time, he had managed to get under her skin and make her actually want to do it, to be there sitting on top of him, feeling him, tasting him, experiencing him.

And then a flicker of something in his eyes let her know just exactly when he had gotten under her skin and she was kissing him again, and her hand was massaging the back of his neck and his hands were all over her, drawing invisible pictures across her back. And all she wanted was the ability to forget. To forget when she had first experienced the hidden depths of Rodney. To forget just which Rodney she was with. To forget that he had ever made her feel. To forget that she shouldn't be there, that she shouldn't be kissing him, that he shouldn't be rubbing palms against the bare skin of her back. To forget any of it, all of it.

She tried not to scold herself when she smirked as he kissed her jaw. She tried not to groan as his lips descended further. She tried not to think of how wet she was getting- of how turned on Rodney was making her. She couldn't help but notice the growing bulge in his pants and she acted on pure instinct to grind into him. She tried not to notice the way Rodney nuzzled her neck, or the way his groan vibrated against the sensitive spot on her neck, but she couldn't help but feel the warmth of pleasure tremble through her body. The moan escaped her lips before she could silence it.

And then her entire body was trembling in his hands as he began to tease the area- his teeth gently biting, his lips kissing away the marks, his breath igniting a fire of pleasure and warmth. She couldn't think. She couldn't remember that this was supposed to be weird, wrong. That Rodney wasn't supposed to make her feel that damn good. All she could think about was the warmth, the trembling feeling curling her toes and stealing her breath.

She stopped thinking then, putting all her focus into feeling. She couldn't remember him commanding her to stand, or the way he had discarded her clothes before removing the remainder of his own, but she could recall the feel of his hands as they dusted over her arms and as they pulled the shirt from her body and the way they caressed her breasts shortly before following the lines of her abdomen muscles down to her pants. She couldn't remember making the decision to lay back down on the couch or actually doing so, but she did remember the sight of him holding his body over hers, the feel of his legs twisting with hers, the feel of his cock pressing against her stomach, the feel of his chest pressing against her breasts.

He knew to bring his lips back to her neck; her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted as she arched into him. He groaned against her skin and she wrapped her legs around his. She couldn't remember the motions or manoeuvres but she remembered the way he felt inside of her, hard and filling. She remembered that her hands ran over his back, feeling the slick, smooth skin. She remembered that her lips pressed against his forehead, tasting the salt. She remembered the feel of him breathing breath after haggard breath against her neck. She remembered the feel of his heart slamming against his chest in time with the rocking of his hips. She remembered the explosion of heat inside her, the tightly coiled warmth that sprinted and trembled and shivered and ached throughout her body and forced a straggled cry from her lips. And finally she remembered the feel of his release inside her, the feel of his hips stilling, of his forehead falling against her shoulder, of his tired, whispered, "Sam."

She didn't remember Rodney shifting them around so that he was on the bottom, letting her lie on top of him. But she remembered the way she laid her head on his shoulder and the way she focused on the pounding of his heart, on the irregular rhythm of his chest rising and falling, slowing down steadily. She focused on the feel of his thumb rubbing slow circles on the small of her back, calming her own pounding heart.

His nose nuzzled her hair and he sighed into the soft golden locks. "I should leave, shouldn't I?"

She let his words vibrate throughout the room before she let her mind taken them in. Then she shifted, propping herself up on her elbow to be eye to eye with him. She tried not to see the tenderness in them, or the lust, or the quiet pleading. She just stared into the grey orbs and sighed, "Probably."

He looked away from her and she watched the resignation fall over his face before he sighed again and nodded. "Once I walk out that door, we're going to forget this ever happened, aren't we?"

His eyes flickered back to catch hers, but she looked down, staring at the soft dark curls on his chest. "Probably," she sighed. It was a lie and she knew it. She imagined he probably did too. She had tried to forget the last time, but no amount of distraction could keep her mind from wandering back to it. And now that she knew for sure how few differences there were, she doubted she would ever be able to stop her curious mind.

He didn't say anything more. Didn't catch her in her lie or question her further. They just laid there for a while. She listened as Rodney breathed into her ear. She felt as his hand slowly caressed her back, as her hand ran over his arm, as her lips gently peppered his collarbone with kisses, as his nose buried itself into her hair.

She couldn't remember how much later it was when she shifted against him, interrupting the careful rhythm they had created. Her lips captured his, softly sucking, caressing, tasting him until she was sure the sensations had been burned in her memory, stored safely away. She pulled away from him as her hand ran over his cheek. Her eyes found his. He was the same man- physically, mentally, verbally- but there was just something different. Something she couldn't find buried in her memories of her Rodney that the other Rodney had had.

His hands dropped away from her body as she pushed herself up. She could barely remember standing or turning and walking away from him. She could barely remember turning to see him propped up on his elbow, watching her, smirking at her. But she could remember the way it felt to force a smile to her lips, the pain that shot through her heart and the tears that she blinked away from her eyes as she walked away.

/-/-

There's potential for another chapter, but I'm not sure yet. Keep an eye out.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note:_ I've had a number of requests in the past few months to continue this story. This is the only chapter that I had in my head while writing this originally and, thus, it's most likely going to be the one and only update. However, if anyone sends me some ideas, I might try to run with them.

Cheers, JD

/-/-

She didn't want to go inside, didn't want to face him one-on-one. But she had to. She had to force herself to take a deep breath, force herself to reach out and take hold of the handle and twist.

She had to because she's the leader of this base and as the leader it's her responsibility to take care of personnel problems and Rodney, ever since that night, had become his very own personnel problem. She never noticed it- or maybe she wasn't trying to notice it- but others have been mentioning his unbearable moodiness to her. Actually, a lot of people have been telling her about how unbearable he had become and begged for her to talk to him and find out what's the problem.

"Come in, come in. It's not like I don't have mountains of work to accomplish."

"Rodney."

"Oh… Colonel. I don't have those reports finished yet."

"That's not it."

"Okay."

Sam despised this side of Rodney- this angry, closed off person he can become.

"Can we talk?"

He froze. Just stopped, head bowed and stylus hovering over his computer pad. "What would you want to do that for?"

"Rodney-" She can feel the dozens of eyes glancing at them, all the curious people trying to see what Colonel Carter and Doctor overly snotty McKay will do. "Can we go out to the balcony?"

It was as if he just remembered where they were and he snapped his head up to look around at the lab. All eyes turned down. He tossed the pad and stylus onto his desk and jerked his head in the direction of the door.

The walk was quiet- completely silent and unbearably awkward. It seemed to take forever to get there- much longer than necessary.

"So…"

She had no idea what to say. Absolutely no idea. And he wasn't help her by crossing his arms and looking over at her. "So?"

It would be best just to say it. "Some people have brought to my attention that you seem… snappier than usual."

"Snappier? I'm no more snappy than I've ever been."

Sam huffed. "I've noticed too, Rodney. You seem stressed. Maybe-"

"Stressed? Who's stressed? There's just an entire city that could blow up at any moment, there's limited power that could just evaporate on us, there's only a couple thousand of life-sucking aliens out there hunting us down. What's there to be stressed about?"

"Rodney-"

"I'm fine, Colonel." Her rank straightened her back and she almost missed him saying, "Nothing to get concerned over. Can I…?"

She looked him straight in eye, crossed her own arms over her chest, and told him in her best authoritarian voice, "This isn't over."

"Okay. What else would you like to comment on?"

Right, she needed more to talk about. Her arms drop to her sides and she sighed in defeat. "What's wrong, Rodney?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong."

"I think I can tell when something's bothering you."

"Oh, can you? With that vast knowledge of who I am, I'm sure you noticed immediately how perturbed I am and used that brilliant little brain of yours to figure it all out. So, discussion over. Thank-you for your time."

"McKay." There's something in her tone that made him freeze and slowly he turned to look at her. She took a breath, letting her eyes fall closed as she collected her thoughts and tried to figure out what to say to him. "Rodney… I hurt you. I get that. Can we please just talk about-"

"Talk about what? The night that never happened? Afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Now he was just pissing her off. "Okay! I get it! I'm an ass! I'm an idiot! Now, can we have a civilized conversation for five seconds?"

"A conversation about what? What is there to talk about? You don't want me. That was made perfectly clear. We moved on. End of story."

"That's not fair. Look, it had nothing to do with you-"

"That's right. It's not me, it's you."

"McKay, we're just not compatible."

"Not compatible? You call that night 'not compatible'?"

She sighed, only because she needed to slow the conversation down. "Look, you, me- we work well together but a relationship? Rodney, I don't think we could survive something like that. We'd just end up hating each other, making things awkward and impossible to work around each other."

"It worked in that other reality."

She tried to breath slowly. Her eyes fell closed and she blocked out the world as she calmed herself down.

Footsteps echoed on the balcony floor; clothes rustled in the breeze; she could feel him moving closer to her. His voice was soft as he breathes, "Would you prefer him? The soft, gentle McKay? The one who knows you better than you know yourself? You just want that back- the ability to feel good without worrying about the consequences of letting yourself go."

She opened her eyes half way through his questions. There was pain in his grey orbs. Deep pain. She couldn't handle seeing him like that, because she knew that he's right, completely right. And so she looked away. Without those sad eyes staring at her, she tried to think of something to say to him and tried to think of a real answer- for herself, if not him.

"Rodney, it would never work between us-"

"How do you know? What do you really know about me?"

"I-" She looked away, "Exactly. We don't really know each other."

"Isn't that the point of dating? To get to know each other?"

"You want to date me now?" He shrugged. "Rodney," she shook her head, "I don't think…"

"That we're compatible. I got that." He turned away from her, but she can hear that his breathing is off and his head is bowed and she tried not to think of what she just did to him. "What do you know about me anyway? How can you make that decision just like that?" He turned on his heels to face her and she saw the passion in his eyes. "I'm not who you think I am." His voice was harsh and raw. "I'm not that man you met all those years ago. I'm not the man who left Earth for Atlantis. And I'm not the man in that other reality. You don't know anything about me anymore." He breathed as if his lungs hadn't meet air in years. "But I'd like you to know more about the man I am now."

Air passed over her lips and she tried to hold his eyes. "McKay… You don't know me. I am almost certain that I'm not the woman you imagine I am."

He chuckled. "Pretty close." She slapped him on the arm, playfully smiling at him.

But then she sobered. "I still don't think it's a good idea to pursue this."

He nodded at her, sighing. "Yeah."

The balcony grew silent, all but the wind blowing over their faces. The thought hit her suddenly. "Besides, Rodney… don't you have a girlfriend or something?"

For one of the palest men she's ever met, he managed to pale to an almost ghostly white. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. "Katie. Shit."

Sam just watched the fear and disgust and pain and horror pass over his face. She wanted to think of him as an ass, the biggest bastard she had ever met for being able to forget about her. But she couldn't, because she could tell how much he loved this Katie and she could also tell how huge of an impression she made on him if he could forget about someone like that.

She moved closer to him. "Rodney, I honestly think you're a good guy. You certainly have your moments. But I just don't think it's going to work out. As great as that night was, it's probably best if we just forget about it."

He held her eye as she talked and when she reached the end, slowly he made himself nod. "Yeah. I guess," he sighed, "I doubt that's going to happen though."

She smiled at him as he ran his eyes over her body. "Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I wasn't." A smirk grew over his face and, almost but not quite guiltily, his eyes ran over her again. "Until now." Even as she laughed, she smacked him in the chest. "Ow."

/-/-


End file.
